No Thank You
- Date: a few months ago
- Location: the kitchen
- I’m feeling: slightly to moderately uncomfortable
Is it really bath time again? Me no likey. Isn’t there another way for me to get clean? Like exfoliating my skin by rolling around on bugs in the yard? No? You’re saying I have to get wet in the sink to get clean? Well boo on you for raining on my parade. Literally.
Light My Fire
- Date: back in the cold winter months
- Location: the den
- I’m feeling: warmer every second
There’s just nothing like warming your tush by the fire on a chilly winter day. Sometimes I even raise my chin and lower my ears as if to say “oh yeah, that’s the stuff- right there.” You should try it sometime. It’s nice and toasty.
Sunday Driver
- Date: just a few months ago
- Location: the old Maxima (I loved that thing)
- I’m feeling: toasty and warm
I like to be in the driver’s seat. Literally. Especially when there’s a beam of sun shining right on the seat. So cozy…
Everyone’s A Critic
- Date: about a year ago
- Location: the den
- I’m feeling: judgy
I will now critique The Beverly Hills Chihuahua for you (since I watched it intently a while back). Things I liked: dogs barking. Things I didn’t like: all that talking. What a waste of my time. Barking is so much more efficient. In fact I found the dialogue to be completely unnecessary.
There’s Nothing Like Fresh Mulch
- Date: a few weeks back
- Location: the back patio
- I’m feeling: earthy
Fresh mulch is cool. Literally, I love sleeping in it on a hot summer day. Sweet mulchy relief.
What? Sometimes I Lick Things.
- Date: a few months ago
- Location: the living room
- I’m feeling: licky
Seriously, ever heard of instincts people? I have the need to lick things. And sometimes you think it’s funny and you may laugh at me but it’s part of my DNA. Just like butt sniffing and crumb hunting. So deal with it. Or I just might lick you next…
Where’s Waldo, Er, Burger (Part Two)
- Date: last summer
- Location: the backyard
- I’m feeling: determined
Can you find me? That’s right, I’m the four-legger in the background sniffing around intently for bugs. I’ll find one. And when I do, I’ll show that bug who’s boss. Unless a squirrel comes along and distracts me. Which is a distinct possibility…
Where’s Waldo, Er, Burger?
- Date: sometime around Christmas
- Location: the living room
- I’m feeling: sneaky
Can you find me? I’m all ears.
In Your Face (Part Two)
- Date: last summer
- Location: in the car on that same sweet road trip
- I’m feeling: satiated
Look, I’m all about getting what I want. So if what I want happens to be at the bottom of the french fry container than I’m not above sticking my whole face in there to come out victorious. What can I say, I’m a goal oriented kind of guy.
In Your Face (Part One)
- Date: last summer
- Location: the car on a super fun road trip
- I’m feeling: resourceful
Sometimes the only way to get as many crumbs as possible is to put your whole face into the can of Pringles. And I’m man enough to do it.
