California shelters are overrun with chihuahuas. According to this article from CBS news, “there are so many Chihuahuas at shelters in Oakland, they have started shipping the dogs out of state, said Megan Webb, director of Oakland Animal Services. Chihuahuas make up 30 percent or more of the dog populations at many California shelters. And experts say pop culture is to blame, with fans imitating Chihuahua-toting celebrities like Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus, then abandoning the dogs. One of these California shelters’ biggest problems is a lack of money to fly the dogs to other states.”

So if you live in CA, why not take home a buddy? And if you don’t, why not pay a visit to the west coast and come home with a new fur baby? It’s a flawless plan. And don’t forget to tell your friends, your neighbors, and your neighbors’ dogs (who in turn will give their parents “the look” to guilt them into bringing home a little brother or sister for them). After all, everyone loves a Chihuahua. Right? Right.

Image of a fellow chi from California (named James Bond, love it) found here.

But enough jibber jabber, let’s revisit my last two finalists. For this week’s final question I asked my two fabulous four-leggers to woo me with their words. Here it goes: Like any normal pooch, I like a bit or romance. So I’d love for you to write me a short poem that tells me just how you feel about me. The type of poem is totally your call (haiku? free verse? limerick?) so just use your imagination and speak from the heart. Here’s what my lady loves came up with (who knew I had such talented wordsmiths competing for my affection?):

#14. Juno wrote this heartfelt masterpiece:

Dear Burger, this holiday season
You’ve put my timid heart at ease.
In each round, a surprise,
You’ve opened my eyes!
For my happiness, YOU are the reason!

#15. Nico wrote this ditty, entitled “Oh Burger, Sweet Burger”:

I dream of a day we can spend together,
Wagging tails, eating Smart Dog Treats and enjoying beautiful weather.
Trotting side-by-side along a green, wooded trail
Our proud parents walking behind to our delightful avail
I have no doubt we’ll have tons of fun
Because two Chihuahuas are indeed better than one.

I will pause so you can wipe the tears from your eyes. Aren’t my leading ladies just bursting with raw poetic talent? I’m moved beyond words. And because this is the final elimination, my crazy mom decided to record the intense deliberation session that followed the reading of the poems. Who won me over by wooing me with their words? Watch the Vimeo video below (or check it out on You Tube) to find out who the big winner is…

Whew. And I’m spent. That never fails to be emotionally exhausting. Seriously, it was no fun to lose any of you pretty pooches from the beginning of this wild ride. Sniffle. But I’m elated to finally find my true soul mate. Smooches, girl. You make me want to be a better chihuahua. Thank goodness for internet dating!

*My apologies for the pathetic lack of special effects and upscale editing in my big finale video. I begged my parents for more of a budget but they’re hopelessly cheap when it comes to these things. At least I have my winning companion to keep me warm (and agree that I deserve a high-def video camera for times like this- right babe?).

First (slightly photoshopped picture) found here. Doesn’t it make your mouth water? And I’m not just talking about the dog bone I’m holding…

• Date: a few weeks back
• Location: the kitchen, but I can work my magic anywhere
• I’m feeling: agile (and ready to be out of this t-shirt)

Ok one more time for the people in the back. If you put me in a t-shirt I WILL get out of it. It usually starts with slipping one leg out of it ever so stealthily and then scratching like a madman until I’m free. Sometimes there are a few backrolls involved in what I have aptly named “the liberation of Burger.”

And that my friends is how it’s done. Ladies, please no autographs.

Anyway, for those with short term memory like me, Envirosax and their unofficial mascot Rocco asked me to give away 3 pouches of their reusable grocery bags this week. Why? Because I’m awesome. Oh, and because they’re donating $1 to the ASPCA for ever pouch sold this month. Everyone wins.

Ok, not everyone exactly. Only 3 people are winning those pouches for free today and, since I’m not good in the counting department, my ‘rents pulled up random.org and it hacked up (that’s a technical canine term) these three names:

• Karen K. (who’s soon to be a PhD in animal behavior, no less)
• Kara (who rescued her pit bull Tippy from the local SPCA)
• Jennifer (who’s 4-year old beagle Daisy is also a rescue)

Congrats on your win, humans! Promise me you won’t put any chihuahuas in those bags, no matter how cute they might look in there. And for anyone who didn’t win, definitely drop by the Envirosax site and pick up a few bags of your own (they’re still a steal and they benefit pooches in need). Again, everyone wins!

I follow the same giveaway policies as my parents, so get more info on their Giveaway FAQs page. Images courtesy of Envirosax.

But on to this week’s question. I asked all of my lovelies what their favorite snack was, and (honestly) if they would share. And boy did their answers make my mouth water (mom read them all to me and carefully recorded which ones excited me the most). Here’s what these stunning four-legged specimens had to say on the subject of grub:

1. Penny Pinscher says: I was SO excited when my mom told me I was chosen as one of your girls that I did the dance of joy! You know where you run around jump on the couch, jump on the chair, jump on mom, run to your doggie bed then start all over?! I know there are a few more in the running to be your wifey and I was checking them out yesterday, like when I see a squirrel in my yard… but, a little more intensely. I was hoping my MinPin mind tricks might work on them, but it was a no go. Anyway, on to my question. I have to tell you honestly that anything you’d like to share with me would be my treat of choice sweet Burger. HOWEVER, in a perfect doggie world, my parents would feed me Vitakraft Yogurt drops every minute! I will happily share my Yogurt drops (and the random fries my mom slips my way) with you everyday ’til death do us part, my spicy little Mexican burrito!

2. Lucy says: Hello Sweet Burger! I am so excited and honored that you selected me to be a semifinalist. I had to think long and hard on this one, because honestly, I’ve never really met a treat I didn’t like. I think my absolute favorite treat is peanut butter on a spoon, straight up! I could down an entire jar of that stuff if you let me because those dry dog bones kinda get boring after a while. In my opinion, peanut butter is like pate, and like me, it goes good with lots of different things! I would absolutely split a jar of peanuttiness with you if it would give me your heart!

3. Babs says: I cannot express how excited I am to receive an e-mail from you. I started panting, which is strange because food is really the only thing that gets me excited. Speaking of food that brings me to your question of the week. The thought of narrowing down one single food item is torture for me. But… If I must… BACON, BACON, BACON AND MORE BACON!!! My love for bacon has forced my parents to put me on Iams Weight Control.** sigh..puts paw over eyes** I dream of Bacon and want to be wrapped in it! It is my favorite snack. And for you?? Yes, I would share. Imagine me feeding you a vine of clustered bacon like the Greek Gods. 1 for you, 2 for me, er, uh, I mean 1 for you, 1 for me. Imagine us swimming in bacon grease **starting to pant** I think I could die a happy chihuahua if you and I could dog-spoon in a pool of mini-chunks and bacon bits **heavily panting** Edibly yours, Babs

4. Milano says: Thank you so much for picking me! I still can’t believe it! Mmmmm, snacks… I’m a fan of anything my mom is eating.  She tells me that when I was really little, she fed me food that was supposed to be really good for me (she did her homework and everything!) but unfortunately I couldn’t digest it and most of my hair fell out! Don’t worry — all my hair grew back, and after that, my mom felt so guilty that she rescinded her no-human-food rule (and bought me some much better puppy food!). So now I share pretty much everything she eats. If I had to pick a favorite, though, I think it would be cheese. Right now, my mom has a bag of Babybel that I’m loving to share with her. And speaking of sharing, of course I would share with you. Or rather, my mom would. She’s a sucker for a cute face… and you’re one of the cutest I’ve seen!

5. Bailey says: So excited to be part of your semifinal round! I have been zooming around my house (more than usual) with joy ever since I heard the news! I have quite a few snacks that I love, mainly baby carrots and leaves from the lawn, but lately my ABSOLUTE favorite snack is my parent’s comfy couch. Have you ever experienced the delight of ripping open some beautiful upholstery? Well let me tell you, it is FABULOUS! In case you didn’t know, underneath that tasty fabric is a layer of lovely padding which is so satisfying to rip up and carry around, I love how it looks strewn across the carpet. If you haven’t experienced the joy of a good couch snack, you can come over anytime, my parents have a whole other couch I have yet to enjoy so there is lots to go around! My parents don’t get too mad because they hope your mom and dad will be able to help them choose a fantastic new couch once I am too grown up to snack on the furniture (like that will happen!).

6. Bella says: Hi Burger! My favorite snack would have to be a burger of course! Oh I am only teasing, I would never eat you! Actually my parents only let me eat organic dog treats, but I have been known to sneak licks off of popsicles, strawberry is my favorite. I can certainly say you are welcome to share my popsicle anytime!! Thanks again for picking me as a semi-finalist! I can’t wait to see your picks during the next “bone ceremony.”

7. Lola says: As I sit here at Mom’s laptop, I can’t help but drift away and dream of a day when we can enjoy my favorite snack together–pig ears. I love pig ears more than just about anything, except you of course. *wink wink* I have to be honest Burger, pig ears ignite such a fire in my belly, I find it very difficult to share… but I think it would be totally cool if we hung out together & each enjoyed one. I’ll chew yours if you’ll chew mine. I know you have a tough job ahead of you. Being a Casanova is hard work. But I hope that we can get to know each other better.

8. Gela says: Oh Burger, that’s easy. Peanut Butter. I love Peanut Butter. I will be honest with you though, I’m not sure about the sharing. Before I was rescued, I was an abandoned stray pup and had a really rough life. I still tend to be possessive of my food and treats. I bet my mum would give you some though. You are quite cute. I hope you can understand, some habits are hard to break.

9. Ries says: My favorite snack in the world is cheese!! American, chedder, I like them all! Every time I hear mom open the drawer inside the fridge I run on over and sit real pretty. Mom shakes her head at me and says that I need to do better than that, so she tells me “down,” and I lay down real nice and wait. Sometimes, if she doesn’t give it to me right away I start shaking I get so excited. Mom thinks it’s funny because she starts laughing… and gives me cheese! I win!

10. Holiday says: My snacks vary but I would be happy to share all of them with you as I’m a very polite chi! To keep my slender figure I get lots of veggie snacks like carrots and cucumber. They are very tasty and fun. My strangest treat that I love is pickles. DELICIOUS! I only get a lick once in a while but for some reason these veggies drive me crazy. My absolute favorite treat is a bully bone. Have you ever had one? Hopefully we can meet and share one together soon. I will admit that when you are not looking I might take an extra lick just because they are sooo yummy! But don’t worry, my mom keeps a huge supply so we will never be without.

11. Stella says: I love food! I am definitely not a girl who is afraid to eat AT ALL. I am also used to sharing since I have a sick big brother that needs help sometimes, so I would definitely share with you Burger! I’m quite the nurturer. I love the Organic Peanut Butter treats that my unt buys for me, and Greenies are really good too! I have to admit, I’m not always the healthy girl though. I cheat. I love people food on special occasions. My parents save their steak bones for me after dinner for an extra special treat if I’ve been really good- and those are great! I also recently posed for a photo with a rose in my mouth for you (just like the real Bachelor) but I bit down on a thorn and it scared me. My mom caught the whole thing on camera of course…

12. Birdie says: Wow! This is incredibly exciting! One of my favorite foods was baby carrots dipped in chunky peanut butter. There is something so satisfying about chomping on carrots, and when you’re done, there’s always some peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth, your paws, your bed… so the snack lasts a while. One of my other favorite snacks is cheese singles! Boy oh boy, whenever mom or dad is making a grilled cheese sandwich, I come running as soon as I hear the plastic wrap crinkle! They always give me that sliver of cheese on the top. And to be perfectly honest, I really would share it with you. My parents do a lot of dog sitting for our friends, and I am really good at waiting patiently while the guest gets the first bite of cheese.

13. Dolly says: Here’s the deal with me- I am not picky! Anytime I’m offered a treat or something falls on the ground I have it eaten before I even have time to realize what it was. I think this stems from the fact that I’m so small. I have to fight for my food, so I scarf first and ask questions later! Relationships are full of compromise and trade-offs, so sure I’d share my food for a nice belly scratch or between the ears rub! One particular food that I enjoy is popcorn! I even do tricks for the tasty treat! PICK ME!!

14. Juno says: My favorite treats are Li’l Jacks treats for small dogs – they’re a little bit soft and chewy, just perfect IMHO. I would say my fav was freshly cooked chicken livers, but the day after I had my first taste of those was miserable (I won’t even tell you about it, since you would probably have to eliminate me from the competition right away). But anyway, I just realized that it’s OK to take treats from my new family about two weeks ago, and so far I only like them if I’m in my comfort zone (aka my own doggy bed). Since I know you’re an active guy, and since I’m naturally a very slender pup who doesn’t like to eat too much, I can honestly say that I’d be happy to share my treats with you. Especially since I’m starting to think my new family will probably buy more the second we run out, so I’ll still get as much as I want! Just maybe not my rope bone… I’ve become quite attached to it, thankyouverymuch.

15. Nico says: My favorite snacks are “Greenie’s”! I also absolutely love PINEAPPLE!!! My parents give me treats when I have been extra good, so I would gladly share my snacks with you when you have been extra sweet to me!!!

16. Daisy says: Sorry it took me so long to respond, my parents and my four year old human brother have all had THE flu. There’s been a lot of oinking going on around here, if you know what I mean. Your email brought some much needed excitement, I mean you are THE MAN, and I have been such a fan for so long. To answer your question, my favorite snacks are pig ears. I love them and my mom loves how long it takes me to eat them. If I’m really good she smothers one in peanut butter and lets me eat it outside, yummy! I would definitely share with you, you don’t look like you’d eat much. I will put on my fanciest ball gown and anxiously wait to see if I get bone this week.

17. Snoopy says: Oh haaaaay stunna! My favorite snack….hmmm, to be honest I love vanilla ice cream. Mom only lets me have it on my birthday (which was Sunday by the way!) or on very special occasions (I’m hoping Santa is good this year). I have to be honest, I would NEVER snap at you or bite you if you wanted some but I wouldn’t stop eating it either (insert romantic “Lady and the Tramp” spaghetti moment here). The snack I usually get are Greenies. I love them, but I would definitely share those with you. So now you know how I keep my breath so fresh and so clean clean, as well!

18. Daisy Mae says: I’m so flattered that you chose me to be a semifinalist! So excited in fact that I ran circles in my living room. My family calls it ‘crazy dog’ when I got into that mode, but sometimes I just can’t help it. My favorite treats are 100% natural rawhide sticks. They’re about 5″ long and perfect size for me to grasp in my little paws and snack on all day. Sometimes when I’m munching on them on the couch I occasionally lose them between the cushions. Boy oh boy does that frustrate me! I go crazy trying to dig for that rawhide. Would I share? If you’re looking for honesty here then I’ll give it to you: I.WON’T.SHARE. I get really upset if someone comes over and tries to take my rawhide. So as long as we each have our own treat we’ll get along just fine.

19. Seneca says: Wow, tough question- love to eat!  I have been known to go after ladybugs and caterpillars (don’t worry, I’m cool with sharing!) but the organic snacks from the Petco snack bar are probably my favorite puppy treats. Otherwise, my parents give me plenty of fresh veggies when I’m helping them cook (or helping them clean up). Sometimes my dad sneaks me other things but my mom usually gripes at him for that. Because I come from a big family, I have no problem sharing. I think that’s why mom sometimes sticks her hand in my food bowl when I’m eating, to see if I’m going to be mean or not. I bet we could divvy up the bugs and get along great!

20. Jasmine says: I am so glad you asked that! I take after my mom when it comes to snacks, boy does she love them! She of course doesn’t share her people snacks with me often though! But when it comes to snacks that are good for me its a toss up. I love Greenies – they taste so good, and they last a little longer than your average snack. Although I don’t know if you would want to share the one I chew on with me, I would let you have your very own out my Greenie Jar that sits on the counter! And this is going to sound silly but I love tums! My doctor said they would help with my acid reflux that I get. And by golly they do help (lucky for you)! My fave ones are the cherry ones of course since they are pink. And I would soooo share these with you! You can even have a pink one (by brother Johan doesn’t even get the pink ones).

21. Villanelle says: My favorite snack is “Bitty Bites” from Three Dog Bakery. Mom loves the all-natural aspect and that they are all made with ingredients easily found in her own kitchen and that she can pronounce all of the ingredients too! I love that I can gobble them up in my tiny mouth when I do something good like not bark like crazy when the garbage truck stops in front of the house. And sometimes, when my mama isn’t looking I steal a piece of kettlecorn while she grades papers. I’m a lapdog for a reason, you know! But of course, if you become my “special friend” I will share the Bitty Bites and kettlecorn with you and we can eat them in front of the wood fireplace together. Doesn’t that sound nice and cozy in the winter?

22. Coco says: I’m so glad you’re asking, Burger, because snacking is one of my favorite topics. I love eating so much that when I’m being disobedient, I will refuse to answer to any commands besides “are you hungry?” no matter how much fun I’m having hiding under the car in the garage or refusing to get out of the shower stall (have you ever had shower water? it’s delicious!). Those three little words get me running in my parents’ direction every time. As for my favorite snack, it’s tough to say. I do love my chicken Happy Hips strips with glucosamine or my pork-flavored multi-vitamins, since those are the treats I get most often. However, I must admit there’s something about the illicit thrill of gobbling up any scraps that fall on the kitchen floor that really gets my tail wagging. My point, Burger boy, is that I love food unconditionally, with open arms- er, mouth- and great passion. I promise to love you the same way. P.S. Sharing? I don’t know what that means.

23. Aubie says: Nothing. She never wrote me back. Sniff. Maybe she’s on some fabulous vacation with her family. Or she met another pooch and they ran off to Vegas together… but I prefer to believe the vacation-with-the-family story. Harumph.

24. Lola says: This is so exciting! My mom showed me the ‘puter the day I became a semi-finalist and I couldn’t believe my good luck. And then I found a pair of my dad’s dirty socks, so I made some nice air-holes in them for him — what an incredible day! Wow, well I like all people-snacks including broccoli, which looks like something I should be sniffing outside but actually tastes really good. But I would have to say my favourite-est favourite is meatloaf. I go crazy for it! If I am being totally honest, I would bump your cute butt out of the way to get to meatloaf. I’m not one of those girls who pretends she isn’t hungry around a date. But I would ask my mom to make extra for you… and, you know, she would need to serve us at exactly the same time in different parts of the kitchen. Nothing like a little healthy competition in a relationship!

So there you have all of the lovely ladies who make my tail wag double time. But unfortunately the time has come for me to announce the lucky four-leggers who will be moving on to the next round. Again, it was incredibly hard to eliminate any of you wonderful pooches and I hope that we meet again (maybe at the dog park or at a rest stop on vacation?). Mom read all the answers very carefully and evenly out loud and just waited to see which ones got me going. I did what I could to pick pooches that seem the most compatible with little ol’ me- I promise! So without further ado, I present the 17 remaining ladies who make my puppy heart go pitter patter:

• #1 Precious Penny Pinscher
• #3 Bacon Loving Babs
• #4 Milano The Beautiful
• #5 Bailey The Brave (she eats couches!)
• #6. Bone Deserving Bella
• #8. Gorgeous Gela
• #10. Holly Jolly Holiday
• #11. Sweet Stella
• #14. Jubilant Juno
• #15. Nimble Nico
• #16. Darling Daisy
• #17. Snoopy My Sweet
• #18. Dear Daisy May (I’m a sucker for honesty)
• #19. Stunning Seneca
• #20. Jovial Jasmine (she loves Tums!)
• #22. Cuckoo For Coco (honest and full figured!)
• #24. Sock Lovin’ Lola

Whew that was emotionally exhausting. Seriously, it’s no fun to lose any of those lovely ladies. Sniffle. But I guess I’m one step closer to finding my true soul mate. Any remaining favorites that you guys want to cheer on? Any ideas about what my next big question should be for these sweethearts? Do tell. And stay tuned for the next “episode” of the bachelor coming next week…

First (slightly photoshopped picture) found here. Doesn’t it just make your tail wag?

It’s a riff on the famous William Hundley “Chihuahua On Burger” portrait below, which many of you have already seen and sent my way:

And this lucky girl (I feel for you Parker) from this cool blog actually has a mom who made those Burger “shoes” with fabric and a glue gun. Pretty crafty, eh?

Anyway I just had to share. Maybe it’s because I’m secretly gloating that it wasn’t me. Yes I was made to resemble a condiment coated hot dog but at least my paws were left unobstructed. Whew. Better luck next year Parker!

Images courtesy of Me Melodia

• Date: August road trip
• Location: walking around Nashvegas
• I’m feeling: amiable

Check out these friends I made in Nashville when I accompanied the rents on their road trip. I especially loved how my brother from another mother got to ride in a little custom fitted dog throne atop the carriage (since jumping on horses just isn’t my thing).

Wanna be a bona fide Burger Buddy? Send over a photo of you or your fellow pooch pals doing something impressive and you might just make the old blog.