• Date: a few months back (the humiliation is still fresh though)
• Location: the old guest bedroom
• I’m feeling: peeved to say the least

Mom thought it would be funny to make me a little mesh headband with some ribbon leftover from a gift she opened. I was not amused.

• Date: a few weeks ago
• Location: the back patio
• I’m feeling: secure in my manhood

Yup I’m nestled amongst some feathery purple flowers. So what? That doesn’t make me any less of a man. In fact, I’d argue that it makes me even more macho because I’m brave enough to let my sensitive side show from time to time. How about it ladies? Is there room for a sensitive flower-loving man in your life?

• Date: a few months back
• Location: the den
• I’m feeling: like a celebrity

My mom and dad were recently in a magazine called Southern Flourish and I made the shot too. Of course it’s not necessary my best side (although my backside is pretty cute) but I’ll take it. No autographs please.

• Date: last summer
• Location: the park
• I’m feeling: suave

Ladies love me, what can I say? Here’s me and my friend Molly getting to know each other better. See that look in her eye? That’s love. I’m one fine piece of pooch.

• Date: a few months ago
• Location: the kitchen
• I’m feeling: slightly to moderately uncomfortable

Is it really bath time again? Me no likey. Isn’t there another way for me to get clean? Like exfoliating my skin by rolling around on bugs in the yard? No? You’re saying I have to get wet in the sink to get clean? Well boo on you for raining on my parade. Literally.

• Date: back in the cold winter months
• Location: the den
• I’m feeling: warmer every second

There’s just nothing like warming your tush by the fire on a chilly winter day. Sometimes I even raise my chin and lower my ears as if to say “oh yeah, that’s the stuff- right there.” You should try it sometime. It’s nice and toasty.

• Date: just a few months ago
• Location: the old Maxima (I loved that thing)
• I’m feeling: toasty and warm

I like to be in the driver’s seat. Literally. Especially when there’s a beam of sun shining right on the seat. So cozy…

• Date: about a year ago
• Location: the den
• I’m feeling: judgy

I will now critique The Beverly Hills Chihuahua for you (since I watched it intently a while back). Things I liked: dogs barking. Things I didn’t like: all that talking. What a waste of my time. Barking is so much more efficient. In fact I found the dialogue to be completely unnecessary.

• Date: a few weeks back
• Location: the back patio
• I’m feeling: earthy

Fresh mulch is cool. Literally, I love sleeping in it on a hot summer day. Sweet mulchy relief.

• Date: a few months ago
• Location: the living room
• I’m feeling: licky

Seriously, ever heard of instincts people? I have the need to lick things. And sometimes you think it’s funny and you may laugh at me but it’s part of my DNA. Just like butt sniffing and crumb hunting. So deal with it. Or I just might lick you next…