Burger The Bachelor: My Two Leading Ladies
Oh boo hoo. Yup, I’m getting all choked up again because I’m back to eliminate some foxy lady pooches and it’s harder than catching a squirrel (those buggers are fast). So to anyone who is eliminated this round (or in future rounds for that matter) please know that I still consider you to be my girl, and you can snuggle up to me anytime.
But on to this week’s question. I asked all of my top five furry girls this poignant question: Since being in a relationship with someone also includes their parent(s), I’d love to hear about how you get along with your mom and/or dad. Are they protective? Suspicious? Generous with table scraps? Partial to tan chihuahuas? Tell me all about my possible future in-laws! Here’s what my fabulous four-leggers had to say on the subject…
#6. Bella said: Oh Burger, I know you and my parents would get along so well! My dad (his name is Joshua) has a ton of energy and always plays with me. He used to work in construction, but after college decided to go into real estate. My mom (her name is Mallory) is the one I’m most protective over. I make sure nobody hurts her and in return she snuggles me. My mom’s job is in politics and for fun she comes home and helps people design rooms in their homes. See, I think you’d get along with them just fine… they love houses, playing, and cuddling. Mom and dad are actually the ones who showed me your picture for the first time and boy was I ever in love. I’m quite positive you’re the only dog my parents would be okay with- they love me a whole lot and don’t trust just any pup!
#11. Stella said: My parents and I are really close. I’m very cuddly (wink, wink) so they let me up on the couch when I need to nap or watch TV, and they sometimes allow me to crawl into their bed in the middle of the night to keep warm. They are such dog lovers that there is no doubt in my mind they would adore you like I do! I can’t wait for you to join me in the kitchen to look for falling food while mom cooks. I’ve won them over with my charm and cuteness, so they pretty much let me do whatever. On a side note, I’ll have you know that I’m a very good girlfriend, Burger. I’ll even watch sports with you. How many cute girls can say that?
#14. Juno said: Your potential future in-laws are DEFINITELY partial to tan chihuahuas. They LOVE to take me to the dog park, and while I’m off having a good run I’ve noticed that they really like playing with any of the other dogs there. They are certainly protective of me, but since they’re trying to help me come out of my shell they always let me introduce myself to any other pooches we meet. One thing I do think you should know: my parents make me wear sweaters too. I know you’re not a huge fan. I’m not either, which is why I always manage to wriggle out them (even the tight ones – HA!) but I must say they do keep me warm. Plus my mom actually knitted me a sweater so it fits perfectly! She might make one for you if you send me the measurement around your chest. And I’m not just trying to get that info for myself, honest. Really. It’s for my mom. I swear.
#15. Nico said: I LOVE MY PARENTS! They are the coolest parents in our neighborhood! Some kids hate their parents when they are our age and they become so rebellious, but not me! I can tell them everything (even when I need to go potty). They are open minded and love tan chihuahuas. Sometimes when my daddy makes hamburgers, he makes a little one just for me! I’m sure he won’t mind making one for you too! They are very protective over me and sometimes they act suspicious, but usually only when I’ve told a little white lie (like when my dad has already fed me dinner and I tell my mommy that I haven’t eaten yet! hehe). My folks are the greatest. They tell me all the time: “once you go chihuahua, you never go back!”
#22. Coco said: This is a great question since I hear in-laws are something many couples fight over, and the only thing I want to fight with you about is who our future puppies will resemble more. My parents are my BFFs. I follow them around and never leave them alone. They think this is because I miss them, but really I just want to make sure they’re not sneaking snacks without me. And oh how they spoil me- I sleep in the bed, get the occasional table scrap, and sometimes even get carried up the stairs (have you seen this body? I’m like a cinderblock walking on toothpicks- stairs are bad for my joints!). My mom knows all the best scratching spots and my dad is super fun to chase frantically around the house. Believe me, with your devastatingly handsome looks, you’re a shoo-in for some sweet in-law loving. If all else fails, just do that paw over the eyes look and trust me, you’ll get a treat in no time.
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So there you have all of the lovely ladies who make me want to meet the parents. Here’s hoping it goes smoother than that Ben Stiller movie. But unfortunately the time has come for me to announce the two lucky finalists who will be moving on to the last round. Again, it was incredibly hard to eliminate any of you wonderful lovebirds and I hope that we meet again (maybe at the movies or in the grocery store?). Mom read all the answers very carefully and evenly out loud and just waited to see which ones really got my attention. And I did what I could to pick a pair of pooches that seem the most compatible with little ol’ me- I promise! So without further ado, I present the two remaining ladies who make me want to bring them home to my mom and dad:
- #14. Juno
- #15. Nico
Whew. And I’m spent. That never fails to be emotionally exhausting. Seriously, it’s no fun to lose any of you pretty pooches. Sniffle. But I’m one step closer to finding my true soul mate. Any remaining favorites that you guys want to cheer on? Any ideas about what my last big question should be for these two sexy little four-leggers? Do tell. And stay tuned for the final “episode” of the bachelor coming next week…
First (slightly photoshopped picture) found here. Doesn’t it make your heart swell with lust?
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Comments
Wow Burger, you have some really great taste! Both of these ladies are gorgeous:) But as you can tell I am very partial to Nico…she is too cute for words! I think ya’ll would make the cutest doggie couple ever! You seem to be a smart guy….VOTE NICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah for Nico! She’s been my favorite all along. But Juno is sweet too, and might benefit from Burger’s love and outgoing spirit to boost her confidence. I’d still pick Nico – you two would make an adorable tiny chihuahua couple! Can’t wait to see the photos of the first magical moments when Burger meets his one true love…
Hmm… I detect a bit of breedism in all the Nico votes. Just because she’s a Chihuahua doesn’t make her the best choice! But then, I am Juno’s mom so I’m biased for sure. I think Juno would be the perfect Ying to Burger’s Yang! But I asked her, and Juno says she’d love to meet both Burger and Nico. Her foster mom with the rescue agency housed only Chihuahuas besides Juno at her house, so Juno is used to being the tallest and surrounded by all those Mexican cuties! May the best lady win :-)
Haha, if anything we think Burger is partial to names that end in “O.” Whenever we mentioned Nico or Juno he looked up excitedly (which is why they’re finalists today). Isn’t that weird?
xo,
Sherry
Aww, Coco has been my favorite from the start!!! Her answers are always the best. Good luck to the 2 finalists!
My Lucy says she has a good feeling about you and Nico! She’s a cutie!
Oh Burger, such tough choices. I still say Nico, she’s such a little cutie. Sorry Juno, you seem sweet too ;)
Aww, Burger, I’m so sorry not to have made it to the top two, but I can totally understand the appeal of both Juno and Nico. And, you know, if you want to pull a Jason/Melissa/Molly switcheroo, I’m down with that.
Anyway, I’m off to go listen to some angsty break-up songs and eat my way through a tub of dog food.
Besos,
Coco
My darling Coco,
It was with a heavy heart that I eliminated you. And sharing that tub of dog food with you sounds like heaven right about now. Wanna be my girl on the side? Don’t all high profile male dogs have one?
xo,
b
bow-WOW, Burger! You sure know how to make a girl’s tail wag. Call me any time, cutie ;)
Coco
Wow, Burger. Only two lovely ladies left! I must say, I’m completely and utterly partial to Nico (yes, yes, she is my niece, but just look at her! Quite a gem!) She’s such a joy to be around, and her parents are the bee’s knees! You will undoubtedly have a blast having them as your in-laws (not many pooches can say that.) So please, vote for Nico!
Sincerely,
Aunt Amy
Go Nico!! When you win your getting a big hamburger from uncle Brian!! Nico, Nico, Nico!!!!!
Deberia ganar!!!!!, tiene una carita tan dulce, la verdad, que es para un comercial. TU PUEDES NICO!!!!!!!!
Ah, Burger. Please pick the beautiful, striking Juno! She is so sleek and lovely. All the other boys will be turning their heads in envy as you walk down the street with that lovely lady! And you certainly have a big enough personality to make up for any difference in height…think Tom Cruise and Katie!
Look, I admire your quest and think this decision needs to be totally yours but I have to tell you how concerned I am that one of your lovely ladies admitted to eating little hamburgers fresh from the BBQ. I’m all about whatever floats your boat but Burger, beware the woman who may be inclined to take a chomp from your butt rather than just a ladylike sniff…good luck, young man!
Ha, I’m the ultimate carnivore so any lady has me at “hamburger”- even though it’s also my name. They say you are what you eat, right?!
Nico!!! Nico is amazing. Please pick her!