Burger The Bachelor: Chicks With Tricks
It’s so haaaard, to say gooooodbye. Yup, I’m singing the blues again because I’m back to whittle down my lovely lady pooches and it’s harder than catching my tail. I don’t like it one bit. So to anyone who is eliminated this round (or in future rounds for that matter) please know that I still consider you to be my girl, and you can share my treats anytime.
But on to this week’s question. I asked all of my lovelies what tricks they could do. Here’s what these stunning four-legged specimens had to say on the subject of shaking what their momma gave them. Show me what you’re workin’ with girls!
#1. Penny Pinscher said: Lately I’ve been quite the show off with the ‘rents. After mom bought me those yogurt drops I started pulling out all the tricks. She calls me her little circus peanut now. Not so sure what that means, but I’m thinking it’s something like a movie star because she gets really excited and takes a ton of pics, just like the do paparazzi on TV!!
#3. Babs said: Nada. My funny Valentine didn’t write me back this week. Sniffle.
#4. Milano said: I can sit, lay down and stay, sometimes. But by far, my best trick has to do with the cats. See, my parents have two cats and neither really likes me. I don’t know why – I try all the time to be friends with them! But my parents think it’s funny, apparently, and have taught me to find them. All they have to say is “Where’s Moses?” or “Where’s Mustard?” and I’ll go find the right cat and pounce on him! The cats don’t like it but it makes mom and dad laugh so hard! And then, I get a treat!
#5. Bailey said: As far as tricks go, my puppy energy keeps me on the move and makes it hard for me to concentrate on anything for very long, but since I love my parents and want to make them happy, I gave in and learned how to (drum roll please)… give a high five! It is my favorite thing to do and trust me, those human-types sure do melt at the sight of it! It gets me out of trouble all the time and always gets me a good smile and a belly rub. You should try it out!
#6. Bella said: I like to think of myself as quite the trickster. I can do all the “typical” dog tricks like sitting and staying, but I’m especially good at falling over on my back every time someone comes near to try to tempt them to pet me. It works wonders, you should try it! I have mentioned my dance moves before, but let me tell you… I dance anywhere and everywhere. My dance abilities were discovered when I heard Jock Jams playing in the background, I got right up on my hind legs and started jumping around. I would love to show you my moves, and see a few of yours as well. I’ll even let you choose the music!
#8. Gela said: Other than breaking up the fights my two cat brothers have, I can sit, lay down and shake with both paws. But one of my favorite tricks is catching the laser beam. My mum and dad have this little devise that shots out a laser and I’m the master at catching it. Even better than the fat cats! I’m also brilliant at finding inconvenient places to lay down- let’s be honest, I just like laying on feet! My parents think it’s quite odd, but I’m very talented at nibbling. When I’m playful or excited (i.e. someone’s coming home) I nibble on the closest thing to me; not to be confused with chewing, it’s strictly a nibble…
#10. Holiday said: What trick can’t I do? Of course there are the simple doggie tricks like sit, stay, and roll over, but remember, I’m a chi with superstar talent. I can wave “hi”, dance like a ballerina, and play the piano. That’s right Burger, I will serenade you anytime. And last, of course don’t forget my modeling jobs which show my talent with artful poses and strutting my way down the dogwalk - bow wow! Of course, there is always more to learn… I’m thinking violin next, what do you think?
#11. Stella said: Hey hot stuff! I’m so glad you asked. I do have a few cute tricks to impress you. I know all the basic tricks but my secret tricks are the most impressive. I can hear food drop on the kitchen floor from the next room and ALWAYS beat my brother to the action. My mom doesn’t even need to sweep the floor after dinner- I’ve already taken care of it. And, I’m a mobile bug killing device. I don’t eat them, I just stomp or “box” them with my paw. I can also jump higher than any other dog (to the top of the sliding glass doors, and I’m barely 2 ft tall!). I guess you can say I just have a spring in my step for you Burger.
#14. Juno said: Tricks? Hmm. I’m still coming to terms with my new house and whether or not my new family is a trick, so I’m a little behind in this department. My mom’s favorite trick is that when we’re at a stranger’s house, I will curl up at her feet, which is something I don’t do willingly at home (I prefer the comfort of my own bed). Another good one is my shrinking trick: I’m as tall as a beagle (even taller than my beagle-basset friend who weighs 5 times more than me!), but when I curl up I look as small as a chihuahua! But MY favorite trick is escaping from the dog park to go for a run!
#15. Nico said: Besides the obligatory sit & fetch, I also know how to give a double paw high five. Like I’ve mentioned before, my mami is from Peru and she likes me to keep in touch with my Latin roots so she taught me the trick I’m most proud of. I’ve learned how to dance the Jarabe Tapatio, well my version of it. I get up on two paws and bounce up and down. I would love to teach you Burger and maybe you can teach your parents!
#16. Daisy said: Great to hear from you again, I’m so excited to still be in the running! My coolest trick is that I can read your emails and reply (wink, wink). I do have a ninja like quality of being under my mom’s feet at all times. I also consider it my duty to make sure no one leaves the house without a little Daisy mark, either fur or paw marks, whichever will show up the most. But my very best trick (my mom calls it my “saving grace” whatever that means) is that I can cuddle like the best of them.
#17. Snoopy said: I’m an expert in looking cute, but I can do tricks, as well. I know how to sit and stay. Most of the time I just want to please my momma, so I know what she means when she says “go potty,” “let’s go for a walk” (which I LOOOVE), “no”, and “bath” (just typing that word makes me shiver!). I’m pretty much a drama free woman and my mom’s my best friend (who likes being mad at their best friend? This isn’t “The Hills”!) so I try to please. Oh and I’m quite talented at catching moths (why do those things invade my house?). Plus I can hug on command! We should try it soon…
#18. Daisy May said: I’ve never really been the flashy roll-over, shake-hands kinda gal. I’m too mature for that stuff (not to say it isn’t cool, just not my bag of tricks, no pun intended). I’m very good at getting people to give me what I want, whether it’s a delicious treat or a nice-long backrub with “the look.” I have mastered this “look” over years of intense human interaction. I would also consider my ability to chase squirrels a unique gift. I know how to make a squirrel get so frustrated that he actually cries out in angst and frustration. How many of your lady friends can say that?
#19. Seneca said: Mmm, I had a hamburger-shaped treat this week and licked my lips just thinking about you. The cookie wasn’t bad either. These are things my mom and dad think are great tricks I can do: sit, lie down, roll over, crawl, shake, high five, fetch. Yawn. I have them fooled. Here are my real tricks: taking shoes out to the yard (it’s hilarious to watch mom search for a single shoe all over the house), starting a rock collection inside from our xeriscaping outside, and shredding carrots and leaving them all over the floor. I’d love to get my tongue on you, Burger! Bow wow!
#20. Jasmine said: Tricks?! Oh you would think I was a circus clown, because I can do so many. I can of course sit on command and I can drop – as long as there is a treat involved. I am also a whiz at finding food. If someone drops something its like my 6th sense clicks in out of no where and I am there faster then you can say “dropped food.” And since I am a Jack Russel I have some ups like you wouldn’t believe! I can jump so high! Oh and I can also walk on my hind legs for a LONG time. My mama is always laughing at me because I do this in the kitchen quite often when I smell food! I could probably teach you how to do this as well, and then we could DANCE!
#22. Coco said: Oh, honey, I turn tricks like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, and I’m not talking about sitting on command. Despite my many oh-so-squeezable layers of love-handles, I’m a pro at finding the most comfortable sleep spots. I always sleep in bed, but I wait until my mom is asleep, and then I slowly inch my way up towards her pillow til I can rest my pretty head there, too. That’s really when I snore most soundly. I also defend all the hair I lovingly shed; whenever my mom breaks out that evil Swiffer, I charge and bark at the invader, valiantly trying to save the hair like I’m Davy Crockett protecting the Alamo. So in conclusion, Burger, my sweet little piece of man-meat, pick me!
#24. Lola said: Wow, tricks … let me think. Well, my parentals really like it when I “sit” on command, but I consider that “resting” more than “tricking.” I guess the thing that seems to attract the most attention is my fancy ball-handling skills. When someone throws my ball, I run and fetch it and drop it near them. If it gets stuck under the coffee table, I use my paws to swat at it until it rolls out (stupid coffee table). Then, if it’s not near enough for them to reach it easily, I nudge it artfully with my cute little nose, directly into their hand. Score! Just call me BowWow Beckham – or you know, just call me!
So there you have all of the lovely ladies who make me wanna sit, roll over, and give them my paw. And as for the other tricks I can do, I’m great at bug hunting (I have a patented neck-roll maneuver to cover more ground than using just a paw), hiding under anything like a stealth ninja (piles of laundry, a blanket on the couch, there’s no limit to my invisibility cloak), and sucking up crumbs faster than a Dyson. But unfortunately the time has come for me to announce the lucky four-leggers who will be moving on to the next round. Again, it was incredibly hard to eliminate any of you wonderful lovebirds and I hope that we meet again (maybe at the park or at a rest stop on vacation?). Mom read all the answers very carefully and evenly out loud and just waited to see which ones really got my motor running. I did what I could to pick pooches that seem the most compatible with little ol’ me- I promise! So without further ado, I present the 10 remaining ladies who make my little pooch heart do tricks in my chest:
- #1 Penny Pinscher
- #6. Bella
- #8. Gela
- #11. Stella
- #14. Juno
- #15. Nico
- #17. Snoopy
- #19. Seneca
- #22. Coco
- #24. Lola
And I’m spent. Whew, that was emotionally exhausting. Seriously, it’s no fun to lose any of you foxy ladies. Sniffle. But I guess I’m one step closer to finding my true soul mate. Any remaining favorites that you guys want to cheer on? Any ideas about what my next big question should be for these sexy little minxes? Do tell. And stay tuned for the next “episode” of the bachelor coming next week…
First (slightly photoshopped picture) found here. Doesn’t it just make your tail wag?
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Comments
Yes, yes, YES! Burger, you’re the greatest thing since, well, hamburgers! Love, Lola XOXO
Maybe you should ask these little lovelies to describe their dream romantic getaway?
Yippeee! Thanks for letting me stay another week Burger!! I think I’ll go hunt some squirrels with all this extra energy and after that perhaps a quick (or long) snooze under the blankies!
To all the remaining girls-yay! we made it!
XOXO,
Penny
I am so honored to be in the top ten! And I see I have some stiff competition. I better up my game and do a few extra laps around the park. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll be napping on the couch as usual. Hey- a girl needs her beauty rest!
LOVE!
Coco
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR KEEPING ME ANOTHER WEEK, STUD!! Til next week…I will be dreaming about us chasing bugs together! aaahhhh XOXO-Snoopy
I am so giddy with excitement Burger!!! Thank you again for keeping me another week. I still hope I can be your #1!
Lots of licks,
Bella
I’m with Christine; ask them to describe their dream trip or dream date. Or to keep in the theme of Thanksgiving, ask them what part of the turkey they like the best and why.
Ooooh, since you eliminated Daisy May do you mind if I take a shot at her? She’s just my type…
Nice choices though! I’m cheering you on buddy!
Sure thing! I’m an equal opportunity lady-sharer. I do miss her very much but I wish you all the luck in the world with my pretty Daisy May.
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! this is nico’s father again, you really should see her do her little dance!!!!!but she needs a partner………
Oh Burger, I’m so flattered to be chosen, thank you! Between my thoughts of you I’ll be thinking of a great answer to the next question.
Gela
Penny Pinscher is adorable!! I have a weakness for minpins, but she is just the cutest one I’ve ever seen!
Such beatiful girls to choose from, but Penny Pinscher is still my top pick. That look makes my heart melt, don’t you feel the same?!?!
#1 Penny Pinscher looks like so much fun! Her mommy better keep those yogurt treats comin’. I bet there’s a lot more tricks up her little sleeves!
I think it’s just the expression on her face that captivates me. #1 Penny Pinscher has my heart. I bet her momma is very proud!!!
Burger, you definitely have an eye for the ladies!!! When all is said and done that Snoopy(#17) is truly the pearl of all pearls. Truly breathtaking she is!!! How great is it when the love of your life is also your best friend? She is the one for you Burger. Don’t let her get away!
Snoops! You are a studette! Making it to the top 10 is awesome! Keep up the good work!
Penny is #1, she is so classy, demure and fun at the same time! Look at those beautiful eyes!
Oh, Burger! You’ve made the best decision having Nico (#15) in your Top 10! She is by far the sweetest niece an aunt could ever ask for, and I just KNOW she’ll make the sweetest girlfriend you could ever ask for too! Please pick her!
Best,
Nico’s Aunt Amy
Yay! Thanks for keeping me another week Burger!
Wet kisses,
Nico!